Mmm Burgers
This is a long ass story which contains shit i need to get off my chest, I do not blame anyone for not reading it

I basically use Tumblr now to get shit off my chest when i don’t want to rant or whine on facebook. Only so many people read this, so its not out there for the universe to see. I just need to type all this out for my own well being and post it SOMEWHERE, regardless of who reads it. But this seems better than facebook.

So here it is, a long ass post about my vision, my knee and some depression.

So Robin Williams has committed suicide. I am a huge fan of him, mostly his standup. But of course, he has some amazing movies. But this isn’t about him really. It’s about depression.

Williams was apparently so depressed he decided to asphyxiate himself. Whatever finally put him over the edge is unknown, but we all know that line exists between life and death and if we choose to take that step off the edge.

Not many people know, but I’ve been going through a whole bunch of physical issues the last few months and others for many years. I have a degenerative eye disease “Keratoconus” which has been with me for a decade. In short, my corneas are cone shaped and thinning causing awkward light conditions, ghosting and severely blurred vision. In the beginning (ages 18-21) I was pretty depressed about my vision, the doctors visits, dealing with driving, working, school, it was not a fun time in my life. College for the first 2-3 years was tough, especially in spring when my allergies would kick in and really wreck my vision for several months. The allergy issue has been something i have a hard time dealing with every year, and thanks to the changing climate, pollen was out in full force this year causing more severe problems.

Read More

Once in awhile, you listen to music and it evokes an emotional response. For some people, that’s some sappy ass song on the radio or “my heart will go on” from Canadian woman about the Titanic or “5000 Candles In the Wind” from MouseRat (Thank you Parks & Rec)

 But for me, i don’t usually get emotional about music, even though I am a musician.

Sometimes , you’re listening and it just hits you.
One such song is “Mile Zero” By the progressive metal band “Periphery”
I’ve listened to this song a bunch of times and never really delved into the lyrics, but once i did i found its way more emotional than I ever thought.

The chorus itself for some reason, hits home, even though none of my friends have died (luckily) but it makes me think about what WOULD happen and how I WOULD feel if one of my close friends/family did die, and for the first time in as long as i can remember, I teared and had shitty thoughts about this song and the lives that we life.

"Mile Zero" - Periphery
It starts as one festering feeling
The kind that cuts from the flesh down to the soul.
No way (no way) to make amends for the time behind the door
Street lights feed lies straight to the mind of the wishful wanderer.
How could he give up?
No second chances to say goodbye!

Wrapped in this cold nostalgic energy,
from cries of the ones who are buried.
Ascend beyond.

Life is ruthless and shot full of pain,
It lifts you up, leaves you out in the rain, and it hurts just to know that you’re not coming back again.
I will miss you my friend!
Memories like a slug to the brain, paint the walls that with a love that will stain the darkest of nights!
You left to join with the stars and I cannot shake this off my chest.

In death we grieve until all have transcended from this realm.
In time we will meet again.

Suddenly I can feel the connection between dimension ties.
Open gut on the floor.
Trembling down to the core.
What is this?

It’s been a long ride without you,
I’m lost inside my own world.
There’s not a single day where I’ve feigned the acceptance, but it’s a somber stroll down this road that we call life

The silence still is crawling out of my sedated sight.
How can I be free?

Wrapped in this cold nostalgic energy
from cries of the ones who are buried.
Ascend beyond.

Life is ruthless and shot full of pain,
It lifts you up, leaves you out in the rain, and it hurts just to know that you’re not coming back again.
I will miss you my friend!
Memories like a slug to the brain, paint the walls that with a love that will stain the darkest of nights!

Left to journey alone, but I can find my way back home.

[R.I.P. Shawn Bennet]

Now if you ever LISTEN to the song, Its not very complex compared to other songs on “Periphery II” like “Ji” or “Have a Blast” but you can seriously feel the emotions and pain in Spencer’s vocals throughout the song. His screams are more intense and deeper and the cleans are wrought with feeling and at the end you can hear a “cracking” of some sort, this is apparently Spencer throwing his headphones on the ground, maybe even smashing them.

Now this is seen by maybe… 10 people? but sometimes, ya just gotta type and get thoughts out there

Don’t ask for your privacy. Take it back. Today we #ResetTheNet to stop mass spying. Encrypt everything! Learn how: http://thndr.it/PVxjUl

Don’t ask for your privacy. Take it back. Today we #ResetTheNet to stop mass spying. Encrypt everything! Learn how: http://thndr.it/PVxjUl

Reality vs Caring

I come here to rant here and there about shit, even though no one fucking reads this, but sometimes just typing shit at least gets the thoughts out of my head, 

Again, another shooting, another monday blah blah blah. 
i post up something about an important issue wherever, and no one gives a shit. Yet I post up something about Justin Bieber pissing in a bucket and everyone talks about it and then someone inevitably says “WHY IS THIS IMPORTANT, WHAT ABOUT UKRAINE OR INEQUALITY OR CLIMATE CHANGE” Ok cool, someone wants to fucking have a debate

No. they. don’t… No one wants to talk about reality. Everyones too busy watching Real Housewives of Frog Balls Indiana or playing Final Fantasy who gives a shit or talking about some celebrity who died their hair or gained 40 lbs. 

we are fucked when it comes to what will happen when we are in charge.
I feel like the over saturation of media and celebrities and shit has turned off so many 20 somethings to what exactly is going on. 

ok, take away foreign bullshit, Ukraine, Nigeria, Russia. 
we have MASSIVE inequality here in the US. Only a few companies own this whole fucking corrupt country, and what do we do? We shrug our shoulders and walk away as if its not our problem… except it is. 

In 15 years, my generation WILL BE IN CHARGE. and if we don’t give a shit, someone else will. Maybe it’s just my friends who don’t care, or just the idea that Facebook sucks and people don’t want to discuss anything, but i’ve found EVEN IN PERSON, people avoid it like the plague. 

Politics may be boring, i find them interesting. It goes along with my hobby of human psychology. I love learning about why people think they way they do, where that thought came from and if they can logically emote that thought to another human. 

I have so many rants to throw on here, Education, Climate Change, World Views, Technology Elitism. I should just use this to vent my thoughts and experiences…

mxydxy:

iraffiruse:

The Quokka

HE POSED FOR A FUCKKJNG SELFIIWE I CANT RIGHT NOWE

youbuildmeuptobreakmedown:

President Obama has made a very terrible choice in assigning Tom Wheeler to be head of the FCC. New “net neutrality” laws are being written which will allow ISPs to hold up online services for money in exchange for getting those packets of information to you in a fast manner. This is already…

chrischristieeats:

Chris Christie eats the George Washington Bridge

chrischristieeats:

Chris Christie eats the George Washington Bridge

think-progress:

Walmart is holding a canned food drive for its own underpaid employees.Seriously.

think-progress:

Walmart is holding a canned food drive for its own underpaid employees.

Seriously.